Struggling

Has not been a good couple weeks. Dad not doing good. Have had a bunch of doc appointments lately. Had to go in for minor surgery on his legs again. And lately he is not there mentally. Does not know what's going on. Then my ex texted me and wondered how things going. I told her about me and nothing about my dad. Asked how school and her health doing. Waited and still am waiting 4-5 days later. She has been on my mind a lot anyway then that text, then nothing. Just don't know what to do. I got all that going on with my dad and struggling to make payments on things. I got one vehicle down. Of course its the one I need for dad and don't know how I am going to the get money to fix it. I need to pay a friend off from money I borrowed from him 3 years ago. I have tried to sell some stuff I have but no ones wants to buy them. Ok Lord when will things get better. I have tried all my life to do your will. At times things go ok. It seems like my enter life things go wrong. Mom sick my entire life dad not far behind her. I Can't say I have done things right I mess up. But come on I served your church in one way or another my entire life except this summer. I cant see where it is making a difference. Things still going like crap but still trying to believe that you will provide. And at times I believe he has. But why do things seem to be getting worse? This started last year or so. I just wish I knew what the Lord wanted from me. Some say find a better job. Tried that. But some aspects glad I have the one I have. This way I can be here to take care of dad.