I hate myself.

I so hate myself. I have no damn idea why I was born. I've tried my whole life to do the Lords will. And every time I try to find a woman and prayed about it he always said no. Thought I found someone boy was I wrong. Still haven't figured out why he let me to go with her if he knew she wasn't one. Can't figure out why when I prayed about marriage I was getting readings about marriage. Just to have a few months later find out she's fucking other guys. It must be on that I am that bad of a person. In the last few days of been trying to get my dad to start taking better care of himself. He was totally ignore me today I got mad and walked out haven't talk to him sents. If he don't care about himself and I guess I don't either. The thing is we go through this all the time. And it usually ends up he is in the hospital because he's dehydrated or some type of infection has gotten going. In the big thing on asking him to do is drink more water. So like I said why am I here but no one cares what I say or try to do.

Wish I were dead.

Will someone just kill me and get this miserable life over with.

Hate my self.

I hate my self I hate my self I hate myself. Why do I get my hopes that a woman might like me. I should know that I am just too damn ugly for anyone to like. Or all that they want is money. Why do I keep having hope that I am going to find someone. Looks like my hand is the only pleasure I'll ever get. How the heck am I supposed to get confidence with women when none of them want to be around me. So fuck you women. So again why in the hell am I here on earth. I can't figure out is when I try to have my prayer time. A lot of the readings I get are from chronicles. How in the hell am I supposed to have descendants if I cannot get one woman to fall in love with me. So fuck you women and fuck you world.