I hate myself.

I so hate myself. I have no damn idea why I was born. I've tried my whole life to do the Lords will. And every time I try to find a woman and prayed about it he always said no. Thought I found someone boy was I wrong. Still haven't figured out why he let me to go with her if he knew she wasn't one. Can't figure out why when I prayed about marriage I was getting readings about marriage. Just to have a few months later find out she's fucking other guys. It must be on that I am that bad of a person. In the last few days of been trying to get my dad to start taking better care of himself. He was totally ignore me today I got mad and walked out haven't talk to him sents. If he don't care about himself and I guess I don't either. The thing is we go through this all the time. And it usually ends up he is in the hospital because he's dehydrated or some type of infection has gotten going. In the big thing on asking him to do is drink more water. So like I said why am I here but no one cares what I say or try to do.